About The Book
An empowering guide to the Equally Shared Parenting movement, for the millions of Generation X/Yers looking to discover a new model for parenthood. Equally Shared Parenting arms readers with the tools to create a balanced life that is rarely experienced by the parents of young children-an evolution that goes beyond the involved dad married to the working mom. This is a lifestyle in which couples create their own model as parenting partners, equals and peers. Every couple gets to write the rules that work for them. For Marc and Amy Vachon, it means working equal hours, spending equal time with the children, and taking equal responsibility for the home. No one is the keeper of the to-do lists; neither of their careers takes precedence.Equally Shared Parenting clearly outlines the benefits and challenges of equal parenting, covering everything from child-rearing practices, career, and home, to self, money, and society. It presents both the philosophy behind this lifestyle and the everyday steps needed to achieve and maintain it, regardless of income bracket, lifestyle choices, or profession.
My Thoughts
Parenting is gendered work. But outside of breastfeeding, that is merely a social construct. Being part of a generation that is partially defined by “career moms” and affinity for flat networked structures over hierarchical social organizationSee Caroline Turner’s Gender and Generational Differences: The Intersection for more on the turning point of Gen X with respect to gender roles. See also Thébaud et al for some information on why gendered housework attitudes persist , I knew that I did not want to raise children in a household organized the way Traditionals and early Baby Boomers organized theirs. My wife is half a decade younger than me and therefore a Millenial, who leans even harder into the replacement of gendered home labor than I do. So we went looking for a different, better way to organize our household once children were in the plan.
We found quite a bit of useful, actionable information in this book. From equalizing the labor of breastfeeding by using pumped milk bottles for dad-delivered night feedings to sending mom, not dad, to run errands during the early days of baby-raising, we started doing things our own way, guided by those who had done it before.
We also worked hard to equalize our careers, with me quitting my chef career and taking different work in order to be available more than 6 hours a day. Throughout that whole process, and now into whatever it is we are doing now, where it’s hard for me to say where home ends and work begins, this book has been a constant companion.
I highly recommend it to anyone unsatisfied with their current division of home-labor and looking for a more equitable solution.